And it begins

I never thought I would be uptight or worried or even scared of this whole ordeal. The ‘ordeal’ being, pregnant. But, as any one of you could tell me “I told you so” and I’m sure you’d all like to … I’m getting a little anxious about the impending birth and the last tri-mester.

It could have something to do with Aaron casually mentioning a few nights ago, “did I happen to know that I have to push 7 pounds of skin, bones and baby out of my, well … self?” … and incase that wasn’t enough to get me thinking about how much I HADN’T thought about it yet … he also mentioned that it’s going to hurt … alot.

Thank you Aaron.

Since then I’ve been speed reading ahead in the What to Expect When You’re Expecting book and let me tell you – no information is GOOD INFORMATION for Jodi.

Last night I woke Aaron up at 12:30 – he was dead asleep, and I’m like …. Aaron I’m scared, wake up …

He FREAKS out and banters half awake/half asleep who’s here, what’s going on, are you ok … ???

and I have to sheepishly but honestly tell him I’m still awake and very scared about having this baby. Not the having it home or bringing it up, although thats coming, but having it period. The birth. The ouch.

He rolled over, to my disbelief, and told me I’d be fine.

Today I sought solace in a higher form. That’s right. I called my mommy. She was crazy enough to push 4 of us out, on purpose – there had to be some reasoning there and I was determined to get it.

I actually had to leave her a pretty embarrassing message on her machine that sounded something like “Hi mom, this is Jodi and I think I’m reading too far ahead in this book, and well … I’m really scared, ok I’m freaking out about pushing this out of myself and since you did 4 times, I think you’re wonder woman and would like you to talk me through it. Call me.”

She called back. A little frantic that I, the high pain tolerance child had let something get to me so much that I sought help for it. Because, don’t you all know by now, I can do it by MYSELF. (Totally not true, I need my mom and I need Aaron … I’m such a wimp.) She reassured me that we wouldn’t have a growing population if it was that terrible, and that we were made to do this, and that everything was going to be OK.

And you know life is good when mom says it’s going to be OK – because she has the power to heal the boo-boo with a kiss and to put the crabby baby to sleep within minutes of taking charge. And after the pain of childbirth and the initial trial and error process, I too get to tell somebody that it’s going to be OK. And they’ll look up at me with big wondering eyes and smile, maybe they’ll stop crying or start to laugh … but I think I’ll know what the magic is all about when they trust me and really believe it’s going to be OK, because mommy said so. I get to be that mommy.

Mom, I love you. What a daily inspiration you have been, a mother I aspire to be half as good as and a woman I can only hope to mirror in the slightest of ways. You, mom, take the cake.

And I totally think everything IS going to be OK.

5 thoughts on “And it begins

  1. Jodibear – You are a wonderful child and I have been thankful since the day that you were born that you were given to me. Just think…if I would have been too scared to have another baby, I would not have the joy of you! xoxo

  2. gosh…i wanna be a mommy. jodi, i need to stop reading your articles or i will be pregnant before i know it. 😉

  3. don’t drink the water, but you can still read my site. I assure you the internet, although tested by scientists, cannot yet produce viable human beings. So you should be safe 🙂

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