To Have or Not To Have

Dooce posts a very good discussion today about having more than one child. An issue Aaron and I talk about often but still have no desire to do anything about.
I always assumed I’d have 3 or more kids. I come from a big family, as does Aaron – and I loved it. So naturally I would want to recreate that envirnoment for my own kids. But then I had one. ONE.
TerraT makes a good comment on dooce – ” … let me share a piece of advice my Grandmother gave me … always have two.
Two children will keep each other company when they are older, sure there will be the squabbles and disagreements, but while they’re busy playing and fighting with eachother you can be sneaking a drink in the kitchen, and that alone makes it worth it.”
This is the conclusion our household has come to for the time being. One day in a few years we’ll have another baby, Lord willing. And then we’ll hold our breath for 5 years and hope we either get pregnant on accident or not at all and the decision is made for us.
We’re in no paticular hurry to have more kids. We like Jessica and how she fits into our life and our family right now. We’re just getting back to the place where being spontanious isn’t earth shattering and she’s gaining independence which makes going out with her even better.
Not to mention Aaron’s work schedule and what it requires of him – traveling often. All of which I can do with him but having more kids would put a hold on all of that – years out of our marriage. And I’m not ready to make that sacrafice.
Then I go through the rationalization that maybe we should just get it over with. Have the kids now – don’t look back, put in the 10 or 15 years of being crazy soccer parents and then we’ll get our lives back. But I know that’s not how it works. Having more kids right now would really just freak the crap out of me. I’m just not ready.
What do you think?

3 thoughts on “To Have or Not To Have

  1. Ahhh, the age old question! I ponder the question of more children some times and then I change yet another diaper! My worry is that my Abbi is such a happy child (right now, anyhow). Does that mean I will have a little hellian next time? Will the universe want to balance itself out that way? If that is the case, then I think I’ll wait a few years! I’m sure I will have a moment of weakness where I let my guard down, forgetting about the universe’s need for balance, thinking I can handle anything, and will mysteriously become pregnant again! That’s a long answer to simply say: Jodi, for the next year or so, whenever you get in the “I want another baby” mood, call me and we’ll make a trip to the kids’ area in the mall and watch those moms trying to juggle their three kids!

  2. I can give you bits and pieces of my heart…one thing is I was glad to change 2 diapers for a year or two, instead of changing 1 diaper for 6 years. Aaron was a busy and entertaing little one too, much like Jessica, but when his sister came along when he was only 13 months old, although I admit she was a surprise to us from God, he exhibited the most caring attitude to her, protective, and he has always had a way with kids since then. It made him so unselfish. And the terrble twos? They DIDN’T EXIST, because they had each other. I know it isn’t the same in every household, but I felt blessed…and even though I feel you, Aaron, and God know best when another little one may come along…He WILL give you the strength to ‘juggle’ and the joy of sharing, and I do not think you will lose sight of who you are, from experience, the blessings of those youthful years FAR outweighed any sleepless nights or poopy disasters. And one of my fondest memories was always waiting in the wndow, propping the kids up, and sweetly acknowledging, “Daddy’s home! Daddy’s home!”

  3. my mom tells a similar story about my older brothers, they’re 18 months apart. Both of these tales scare me into not having more kids – not assure me that it’ll work out. Although I know it would. Definitely not having any more babies any time soon. Sorry.

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