I think I gave birth to the tazmanian devil, I’m pretty sure.

I’ve heard stories from other mothers while I was growing up about how “they should have known – he was like that from the beginning”. Or some mom’s refer to the birthing experience in reference to how they’ve always been. Like – “Oh that Jeffery, when I was in labor with him the doctors wanted to break my water to get things going and I said no, I just knew he would come in his own time. Just like getting his bachelor degree at 45 and getting that 6 figure job he’s always wanted, he just does it on his own time, but he always gets it done.”
Or the people we all hate – “Of course she’s already the VP of that firm, she was a week early, surprised us all, and I couldn’t get to that hospital fast enough – I about had her in the waiting room.”
Neither of these stories works for me. Jessica came when she was good and ready – but the doctor did break my water, and it still took more than 16 hours to deliver. I just wonder if I’m going to have a story like that in 20 years. But I’m more worried about what I’ll reference it to.
I can’t decide if I’ll be referring to the days when she tore her books apart and used all of her toys in the manner in which they were not made for – that of which is hurtling them across the room or banging them into my hardwood floors. Or biting them.
Will I be that mother who says – “Well I guess I should have seen that coming, we tried endlessly to get her to respect her belongings but she just always had her way with these things. I suppose that fence post just didn’t know what was coming when she decided to see how many rpm’s it would take her to get smoke coming our of her engine. Good thing that elderly home was being remodeled and all the residents were in the homes across town. Now that would have been bad.”
Not that I believe Jessica is, in any way, going to hurt elderly people when she gets her license, or that she will get her license. But does this end? The never-ending-battle-to-see-how-many-different-ways-I-can-get-this-certain-object-to-do-what-it-wasn’t-made-for stage?
I mean, ever?

One thought on “I think I gave birth to the tazmanian devil, I’m pretty sure.

  1. FYI: Duct tape and a flag pole work quite well when put together… just don’t put the duct tape too high, otherwise she’ll just chew her way out. Hmm.. maybe you should resort to using seran wrap.

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