Uncharted Territroy

She’s not 2 yet but the tantrums have begun. I have no idea what to do with these emotions Jessica is feeling. Can I punish her to behave? Do I ignore them, do I talk her through them – do I stress the importance of patience and self-control when neither of these traits are present in her fits?
I feel, for the first time as a mother, that I’m doing something wrong. I can’t calm her, I can’t comfort her. She’s simply just trying to make her own decisions … thing is – these decisions are directly in contrast to the choices we’re giving her.
Dinner – peas and noodles or tacos … a good choice. We’re giving her the ability to make a decision and let it be hers … but she wants NONE OF THEM. She wants CRACKERS. And then a fit. A fit like I’ve never seen before. Throwing the arms, the body, the legs – hitting the head, crying, screaming and melting into an uncontrollable body of flying nerves.
I’ve tried to hold her down during a tantrum only to have her melt in my arms crying uncontrollably like we burned her blanket right before her eyes. It’s the most devastating thing ever. I don’t want to contain her only to have her feel like she’s not allowed to have these feelings.
Of course I want her to behave but I want that to happen and still have her feel safe in our home – that she won’t be punished physically or mentally for misbehaving or having an opinion. I know this sounds like psycho mumbo-jumbo but I’m seriously in uncharted territory.
I’ve found a website that I like … Dr. Greene. But it doesn’t answer all my questions and I just need someone I know, who’s done this before to give me some options.
After Jessica’s nap – every single day, she wakes up in a fit. Like her world collapsed and I spend 20 minutes, minimum, holding her trying to calm her, trying to get her to breath easier. Trying. I don’t know why she wakes up like this – her mornings are always pleasant, save for the fits over food or going outside when it’s raining.
I just don’t know what to do.

One thought on “Uncharted Territroy

  1. I am sorry you’re having a rough time. I have some ideas if you want to talk about it sometime. My sister and I both belive in training instead of punishing and tantrums fall into that mix as well. Mine is only 6 months but my sisters kids are 5 and 2 and they are extremely well behaved kids. I also participated in the trainnig process as we lived closely with them before we moved back to MI. I can just tell you when she and I do with them and you can use what you like. Give me a call anytime! Becky

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