it’s not for sale

I’ve been going through some old photos trying to get the ones I think are good in order for some possible gallery type things and I came across a few photos of me before motherhood.
This one is of me before Aaron and I ate dinner on our front porch at our first house. I don’t know if I’m trying to look sexy or if I’m annoyed that he’s not sitting down so I can eat already.
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This one is of me walking, on the far left, with my dad, Wayne, and my sister and her baby – this is the weekend (morning after) we had found out we were pregnant. My thighs didn’t even touch.
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This one is of me on our honeymoon. The only reason I’m wearing a two-piece is because we’re in Mexico and I was sure no one I knew was going to see me. I had serious self image issues and when I look at this photo now I’m just damn proud I ever looked like that. No pity party here – self image has greatly improved, along with a dirty little secret of my addiction to diet pills. Dependent no more am I. And when I go to Florida in a few weeks I might wear a tankini and I might even look a little more like I used to than I have in the past 2 years but it’ll be from a lot of hard work and support.
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I’m trying to raise a healthy girl in this world. A daughter with character and self worth. A human being with more stock in her spirit than her looks. I’ll be throwing the TV away promptly. High school and middle school suck for this process. There’s always the pressure to be skinny – if they’re not getting it from their peers they damn well are from the media and most of their mom’s have issues going back generations about their body image and what the scale tells them they’re worth. Enough of that. It’s nice to be healthy, to be fit, to enjoy being in your own skin. It’s not a game and it’s not for sale. It’s your life, your body, your health.
Being a woman who is a mother that has a daughter in the 21st century isn’t a task to take lightly. It’s not just P’s and Q’s anymore people.
I didn’t start writing this post thinking I was going to give so much information or be on a soap box, I actually just wanted to make fun of my attitude … ironic.

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