Emotional breakdown. Brace yourselves.

Today is not a good day. This past week has been progressively aggravating for me. Jessica’s fine, she’s a great kid but she’s a suck whole of energy and ability.
I feel bad for Jessica when I make a coffee date with someone else who doesn’t have kids because I’m putting a responsibility on her to be “good” so I can have 10 normal minutes of conversation with another adult.
When did becoming a parent mean I died? This is all very dramatic and a bit of an emotional explosion but this week has been very hard for me. I just need an hour to myself. I need to take a moment where I’m not worrying about someone else’s schedule, whether or not they need to use the bathroom and if there’s been an accident, I need an hour where I don’t have to feed someone or care … about anything, I don’t have to clean a surface, of any kind.
I need a blissfully, complete hour of removal from this day to day race of what to do next. Whats going to hold her attention for the next 10 minutes, if I have to read another simple sentence book out loud I’m going to scream, applesauce? Really. Because we also have the makings for a sandwich, or mac and cheese and I have vegetables that you hate but I’d like you to try them anyway. Sure I’ll fight with you about it. Eat your veggies.
Aaron works so much – he works all day and the he comes home and most night works past when I go to bed. He works all the time. On Saturdays and some times on Sundays and I am so proud of him. He’s working this much so that someday soon he can be home more, working for himself and having the freedom we both desire.
He’s just as stressed as I am. Probably more. I’m just a cry baby. But I miss my husband. And he just called so I could cry into the phone to him and tell him how much of a failure I feel like right now and all he said was I Love You – You’re Doing Great. I’m Sorry I’m Gone So Much Right Now. I Understand, It Is Hard. And then he gave me the best gift ever. He told me what he did for me for Valentines – he arranged for Jessica to be at my mom’s over night and he’s taking me, ALONE, ME!!!, away – not far, just away, with him. Alone. With Him. By Ourselves. Apparently he’s been planning this for a few weeks.
This is why I married the greatest man alive. Wayne would be so proud of him.

2 thoughts on “Emotional breakdown. Brace yourselves.

  1. maybe tonight at our house will give you a bit of a break! if i can help out let me know 🙂 and for the record, i think you’re a GREAT mom and wife, i know a fair amount of people with kids and i think you do a great job with Jessica. you read a ton of stuff, and put everything you’ve got into doing your best raising your child. you’re awesome (even on the bad days!)

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