Staying above the water

Take note I changed THIS WEEK to SOME TIME THIS MONTH in the previous entry. I had a laps in my memory when I was writing the last post – this week is Tulip Time in Holland and I’m an Alumni Dutch Dancer so I pretty much prance around in wooden shoes everyday. Which means I won’t be sitting in front of my computer or making any Pilaf’s this week.
I’ll try to stay on top of my photos so you can see whats going on around here but for some reason I’m lethargic most days lately and hoping I’m not slipping back into any form of depression that I’ve been able to abate for the past 4 years. All this junk food can’t be helping but I can feel the cloud of depression coming and I’m scared.
If you’ve been reading this site for the past 3 years I’ve talked openly about my struggle with depression and our proactive approach to facing what could have been a terrible bout with postpartum. Thankfully that never hit me. It could be that my life has finally slowed down to the point of letting some of the past tragedies finally come out and speak for themselves so here it comes.
I’m going to let myself feel the losses, the pain, the incoherent crying out for lives taken – I’m going to let it come. For the first time in 4 years I’m going to face this.

2 thoughts on “Staying above the water

  1. Good for you! Facing things of the past can be very painful! I am here for you if you ever need to cry, vent, laugh…whatever it may be! I love you girl

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