Differences

As most of the women who read this site already know, pregnancies after the first are just different. Different as in my entire life is not this bundle of sweet smelling baby coo’s waiting to happen – my life is still the 2 1/2 year old child I already once experienced all that glee with. Different like, nothing is every exactly the same. Different like – by this point in my first pregnancy I had already purchased all necessary books to keep my child alive and my sanity intact – or so I thought. I had the best book on baby names, the highest respected internet sites sending me schedules and emails and my doctor was on speed dial.
This time around? Hmmm. I made myself go to the library and rent a baby name book. I made a small list consisting of only 8 names in the entire book. The Entire Book. Eight. I felt horrible for a good 2 weeks (which I know is nothing, so I’ll stop right there) and that was about the only clue I had as to what was happening in my life. A baby was coming. A baby is coming. I’m pregnant.
I’m still in denial. I’m not showing, my clothes still fit, although a new bra is in order – I’m not in pain. Some days I actually wonder if the test was right. I don’t day dream about this baby. And it’s not because we’re not excited. We are. We think we’re ready, as ready as we can be, we’re all giggles and funny faced ready for the pastels to come out again – for our arms to hold another small miracle. We’re all about it. Can’t wait.
But we have to. Wait. A while. And probably a good 2 months yet before anything really pops out – a good 2 1/2 months before we know the sex of the baby. Only 1.5 weeks before I get to hear the heart beat and only about 6 weeks before I could start to feel movement. It’s all about waiting.
In the mean time though we have this other miracle running around, talking our ear off, creating imaginary friends and making us pretend pancakes. Our life has been Jessica since we found out we were pregnant with her and our life is still all Jessica even though baby #2 is on it’s way.
It’s just different.

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