lets go there

Since I’m feeling better, lets go there, shall we? Lets talk about how uncomfortable this pregnancy is. Lets talk about how all things circular on my body are growing bigger and bigger (you liked one, I know) and well, lets talk about how the need to find a bra that fits is right up there with the need to eat 8 meals a day and hurry up and get this baby out of me.
Around Christmas time I linked to Bella Materna and talked about their nursing bras – I did get one in my stocking, LOVE IT! However, like I said, we’re getting larger over here – all of us. I’ve been going back and forth between my old bras with under wire and the nursing bras I had when Jessica was an infant. I do, presently and publicly, surrender my body to this pregnancy in full from this day forward. My comfort of breathing depends almost solely on how the bra I’m wearing fits – and lets just say I’m having a hard time breathing most of the time.
Lamens terms=My boobs are huge, my bras don’t fit. It’s uncomfortable. Amen.
Since when did I beat around the bush, any way? I’m trying to be modest over here – I will stop abruptly.
One of the nurses I had in the hospital this past weekend asked me how big my daughter was when she was born, I told her (Jessica was 7 lb. 9 ounces) and she cheerfully told me she thought this baby was going to be bigger. Uh huh. Cheerfully. Well now, you’re not pregnant with this one are you? Lets not be so cheerful when delivering that news, shall we? A little sympathy maybe, a little frown? A little of the ol’ – I know what you’re going through attitude? No? Ok. Thanks.
I was a non believer when she gave me her little prediction but now that I have it in my head I’m thinking she could be right. I am so uncomfortable already with this baby and I have 12 weeks left. AH!!!! I’m going to ask my doctor next time I see him what he thinks. And then I’m going to schedule my delivery for the following day. I think he’s ready, lets just take him out and poke around for a while – if the toothpick comes out moist then we can put him back in for 10 more weeks. Deal? Yea, didn’t think so. It was worth a try though. (Who just gasped? Did you just think to yourself how wrong that was? Your mental health is intact, you should be proud. I am delirious at this point, and low on my oxygen intake. Please excuse me. I won’t stop.)
Where else haven’t I gone yet? I won’t let you believe that pregnancy is glamorous. That is a lie. It is beautiful and a miracle and a huge blessing but glamorous? You read the wrong book, honey. I’ll pop some of your bubbles right now – you will have gas, lots and lots of gas. Stinky, very offensive gas. And it’s going to pass on it’s own – you don’t get a say in that anymore either. In the books they call it “Flatulence” because big words for farting makes it sound better and less like helium poop.
Obviously, your boobs will get big. (Understatement)
If you’ve had a child already the sound of anything crying in your 6th month will lead to letting down and leaking. If you have no idea what I just said, this post is not for you. It might even tickle. Beware of being in the grocery store with the crying kid in the aisle next to you – you’ll either start giggling (remember, the tickling) or you’ll decide you have everything you need and bolt out of the store. But not before you run through the feminine aisle and grab all of the nursing pads off the shelf in the same sheepish way you would have bought condoms 6 months prior. You are that girl.

6 thoughts on “lets go there

  1. hehe. I can laugh now ’cause I’m still a month away from where you’re at. And that laugh is a nervous, anxious laugh of someone knowing your current situation is the same impending doom that aways her. Glad you’re at least feeling less fluish!

  2. ah yes, the nervous laughter for the impending predicament! I’ll greet you on the other side with rag mag’s and a frosty! Isn’t baking humans FUN!?

  3. Jodi–What great reading material!! We are laughing sooo hard…but we do want to point out that our laughter is not AT YOU but rather thankful laughter that we have NO IDEA what you’re going through…so thanks for paving the way and GOOD LUCK on the baking!! Keep the comments coming!!
    Love,
    Abby & Sarah

  4. Jodi–What great reading material!! We are laughing sooo hard…but we do want to point out that our laughter is not AT YOU but rather thankful laughter that we have NO IDEA what you’re going through…so thanks for paving the way and GOOD LUCK on the baking!! Keep the comments coming!!
    Love,
    Abby & Sarah

  5. Jodi–What great reading material!! We are laughing sooo hard…but we do want to point out that our laughter is not AT YOU but rather thankful laughter that we have NO IDEA what you’re going through…so thanks for paving the way and GOOD LUCK on the baking!! Keep the comments coming!!
    Love,
    Abby & Sarah

  6. hahaha!!!
    I love that you’re getting a kick out this 🙂 One day it will be you! And I will be here with a frosty for you (can you tell that Frosty’s fix almost anything while pregnant?) You girls are awesome.

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