How are you?

I’m seeing a health counselor again – I did a few years ago and felt it was time for a refresher … I’m in a rut in a few ways and know that working with her, Jill, is always a positive experience for me.
She sent me this in email today:
Humans are amazingly complex; rich, fine wines of paradox and
devotion course through our veins; we are patched together with
dreams, swirling emotions; doused with goals; we each have
bitchings, itchings and sacred secrets behind our sets of eyes…
…but rarely do we have the chance to talk about it or hear
about it, because there’s always the bland and dodgy response,
“Fine”to the ubiquitous question, “How are you?”
I’ve taken to asking instead, “What’s your biggest joy and your
biggest pain today?”
Their responses are glimpses into their nooks and chambers;
lovely, touching, sweet. Disarming, illuminating.
My friends become even more precious; those who I’m not that
close to move closer. I’ts magically much more connecting
than, “Fine.”
– Redefining Monogamy
Then this …
So, this week:
1. Ask, over email, Facebook or in person, “What’s your biggest
joy lately, and what’s your biggest pain?”

I LOVED this. For so many reasons. I fall in that category so often – just answering Fine to the question – even when I know they’re asking for more. I don’t open up to that platitude and probably never will. It’s not a sincere question no matter the form it’s being asked, in my opinion.
Here are my answers to the real question – What is your biggest joy lately (today) and what’s your biggest pain?
My biggest joy today was watching Jessica light up when I let her climb outside the moon roof to watch the parade – she even got to sit on the car and thought she was the top crop, which she was 🙂
My biggest pain today was losing my patience and just wanting both of my kids to conform to what I thought they should be … which was quiet and happy doing so – which was unrealistic and always tends to make me feel like a failure for not bucking up, growing up and just being the mom I see myself for them.
So, my friendlies … What’s your biggest joy lately, and what’s your biggest pain? I want to know.

One thought on “How are you?

  1. My biggest joy today (on Mother’s day of all days to be answering this!) is my 2 wonderful boys. The joy they bring to me is just amazing. Feelings I never knew even existed well up inside me and often times move me from moment to moment, especially just when I think I can’t do this for a moment longer.
    My biggest pain today is really realizing that I have been neglecting my relationship with God. Reading the Bible but not really reading what God is saying. Not realizing that he is in love with me and that the Bible is his way of telling me. That the Bible is not a list of do’s and don’ts but a letter written with love so that I may know my Savior.
    Thanks Jodi for asking…

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