Hi! My name is Jodi and I take photos. Would you like me to take photos of you? Oh wonderful!

Lets be professional about this.

Only … wait for it, wait for it. I’ll be sporting pants that look like I missed the bathroom by miles.

Did I mention I also have small children? Who apparently hide chocolate in the cushions of the couch?

Super. That’ll be $150 plus a lifetime of humiliation, only I’ll throw that in for free.