oh. my. everlovingmother.

A bullet list of a day of travel with two children:

# On our way to the airport we get a call from the airline, our flight is cancelled. The end.

# After a half hour on the phone we finally got on a plane that left later the same day and they gave us some travel vouchers.

# In the meantime, we had some time to kill so I took Jessica to Crazy Bounce. My phone blacked out, stopped working completely. Guys at phone store didn’t even know what to tell me. They recommended taking it back to get replaced completely. Unfortunately that was an hour and half of time we no longer had.

# Grab Lunch, run home, throw my phone in Aaron’s lap and say – PLEASE!! Do something!!

# It works for him, I utter things under my breath about stress and anxiety. He laughs, we eat lunch.

# Our caravan to the airport goes well, we’re dropped off. Checked in. Drinking a latte. Flight is delayed.

# Delayed again.

# Security check point is like a marathon sprint and we’re crawling on all fours. People start to say things “quietly” and the officers are trying to be helpful but really, we have no idea if this stroller will fit through the x-ray machine – that’s their job.

# Find our gate. Delayed again. Of course.

# Talk to the attendant at the gate, ask if we’re really leaving the airport today and she says – oh yes! The plane is on it’s way!

# 10 minutes later she announces to the entire gate that the plane just took off, will be here in 28 minutes. Uh huh, right.

# She wasn’t lying.

# Board the plane, give Oliver some Benadryl. Oh yes I did. And oh no it did not.

# Spend the rest of the 25 minute flight fighting with Oliver to calm down, sit down, stop kicking the seats and please stop screaming.

# He does not listen.

# We land, find food and our next gate. Which happens to not be delayed.

# Board that plane, we’re all in the same row – Thank you Lord! Aaron wants to give Oliver another Benadryl, you know … THIS one might work. I’m already defeated for the day and after explaining to him that sometimes the Benadryl actually amps the kid up he says – well, I’ll give him one more any way.

# He gives him one more.

# We spend the next hour with a screaming, unhappy kid. Do not under estimate that. Literal screaming.

# He finally falls asleep, we’re all exhausted.

# Then the family behinds us looses their marbles. Kid starts screaming, snot’s every where, puke is happening and her ears are making her feel like her head is splitting in two. She audibly says how she never, ever wants to go to Disney World ever again!

# I agree with her.

# Oliver of course wakes up to this raucous but Jessica sleeps through it – we land without incident and both kids have kept their cool for the last half of the flight.

# We’re HERE! We have no way of getting to the hotel. So … lets rent a car?

# First, check on taxi fare – $60 we’re told. Ok, then … back to thinking about renting a car.

# Aaron walks up and down the car rental counter, we finally decide on a company but oh wait – they don’t take debit cards.

# Actually … no one takes debit cards. And especially Aaron’s because there’s been a hold/stop put on it by our bank. Seeing charges from other states gives them reason to believe we’re being stolen from. Awesome. Nice security. Shitty timing.

# Come to find out we won’t be able to use Aaron’s card until Monday, the folks who placed the hold aren’t in the office until Monday. Obviously.

# I am now his Sugar Mama.

# We pay for the taxi ride – get to the hotel at 1 am, Oliver falls out of the car when we’re exiting … all 2 1/2 feet to nice hard asphalt. The crying begins, again.

# Calm every one down, check in – we’re upgraded!! Thank you Lord.

# Find our room, put Oliver on the bed while we brings bags into the room and he falls the 2 1/2 feet from the bed to the floor. We’re realizing we’re terrible parents. More crying.

# A bath, teeth brushed and actual beds for the kids to sleep in. One hour later they’re actually sleeping.

# So are we.

# 6 hours later – they wake up.

# We miss the continental breakfast, call around for a car rental – wait an hour, walk to a restaurant, get called that the car has arrived, don’t eat and walk back … figure out the rental, rent a car seat (we forgot ours) and we’re finally on our way to breakfast.

# Finally.

# But not before Oliver falls off the bed yet again, expect this time Aaron tried to catch him and fell on top of him instead.

# It’s 35 degrees outside.

# I’m done.

5 thoughts on “oh. my. everlovingmother.

  1. So painful to read. Glad to see the silver lining post, too. Oh, hun… hope you are having a blast currently and the trip back is MUCH more smoothly! Hugs!

  2. I cannot even tell you how hard Tim and I are laughing right now. Of course we’re not laughing at you! We’re laughing with you…only you’re laughing probably won’t start for a few more weeks yet, once you’ve recovered from it all. We’re laughing because we can SO relate!!!! Note to self — if ever babysitting Oliver I am not placing him on any surface higher than 6 inches off the floor!

    Hoping the trip is going better now!

  3. Okay, I’m sorry. I laughed. It was SO sad… it was just funny. But I must confess I also felt somewhat thankful that I didn’t have to experience your travelling adventure!

  4. Jodi! I’m so sorry but this is all quite hysterical (although, I cringe thinking this will be me someday)! You can’t make this shit up…seriously…and I wish I could hear all about this in person!! Anyway – glad you are back in your cacoon : )

    P.S. Whats up with Oliver falling out of the car and off the bed so many times! Is he ok!?

  5. So you’re all laughing at me. I was not laughing for at least 4 days there. Man, it was a rough start to what was so beautifully a great vacation in my head. I need to work on my expectations. NOW, that we are home and no where near an airport I can see the funny side of this. Kind of.

    Oh how I love to be home!

    Meghan – we have no idea what is up with Oliver falling … probably had to do with being tired and not knowing his surroundings. He doesn’t fall off our bed here at home, but it also only sits off the ground about 12 inches. Much different. He’s ok, didn’t get hurt from any of the falls other than being scared. He’s a boy through and through – rough on everything including himself!

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