Before you become a XXX star

Our house has been a petri dish of germs this past week – it started with my husband coming home early and conking out before dinner … now this happens every so often just from stress etc so I wasn’t too worried but when he woke up the next morning I knew we were dealing with the green guys.

Next came Jessica and Oliver – Jessica missed school a couple days this week, the husband ended up losing his voice and I got run over by a truck and had gravel shoved down my throat.

Oh it was fun. Like buckets of acid being thrown on your face fun!

Thankfully the husband could rework some of his schedule to be home with the kids while I was more worthless than your average box of cereal. Ah snap! WORTHLESS I TELL YOU.

I spent the nights tossing and turning and wishing there was a magical fairy who was coming to take all the pain away so I could just sleep, for 15 minutes, for 5 minutes. Anything would have been nice. Instead I woke up morning after morning worse than the night before.

Whu whu whu.

So this morning I called to get an emergency appointment with the chiropractor so he could break my bones into working again and stop all the madness going on in my head. The Chiropractor we see regularly didn’t have an opening so I made an appointment with another guy in the office.

Now. I’ve written before about how going to the Chiropractor is kinda like being in a really bad porn video. The places they have to touch to test a muscle are not very modest, ok. Since we’ve been going to this particular office I’ve grown in my comfort in addressing this issue with the Chiropractors, it’s all part of the medicine and I’m assured that it’s not just me … it’s other patients too.

So. This new guy today, he had to go there. He had to test some muscles that were not very modest and I’m laying there on the chair thinking about how bad this must look from the outside in.

I’m sweating by this point … through my jeans I’m sweating. On my legs, my back, my armpits. A couple of the fixes he had to perform included my jaw, which meant he had to be leaning over me while I breathed in and out with awful, germish breath and I want to die, ok. I just want to die.

One. You are not the doctor I usually see, so this is just awkward.

Two. THIS IS SO UNCOMFORTABLE. But it works.

Three. Contrary to popular belief; I am modest.

We adjusted the supplements I’ve been taking for the blood sugar marathon and I got some tips as to how to avoid throwing my body into this revolt again so I feel like we’re on the upswing. We better be, at least. I’ve got a busy week ahead of me and there is not room for gravel or truck accidents on my limbs.

2 thoughts on “Before you become a XXX star

  1. So glad you got in with the chiro and really, REALLY, hoping you feel better soon! And I’m so with you on the “Is this ok that you’re touching me in those places. I’m married after all” thing. It can be quite, um, uncomfortable at times but the end result of health is so worth it! At least that’s what I keep telling myself!

  2. Thank you! I feel like that was the push my body needed to get better! Trying not to over do it today though, makes it hard when the sun is out.

    I have to convince myself of the same thing! So glad I’m not alone 🙂

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