How To: Keep your fresh cut flowers longer

How To: Keep your cut flowers longer

This is a simple lesson in sex education to be completely honest. In order to keep your cut flowers fresh longer and looking nice you have to understand the inner workings of how a flower procreates.

I’m going to go with the terms we know and understand as male and females and won’t go into the jargon of Botany – this way I assure you I’ll keep your attention a little longer. Maybe.

How To: Keep your cut flowers longer

The flower has a vagina and a penis. The vagina is the white head in the middle. When it’s time to pollenate – err spread the seed, it’ll get sticky and moist in order to attract the pollen (sperm) from the penis of the plant … and there are many – all those little brown things. Little wieners.

So you’re going to need one of these:

How To: Keep your cut flowers longer

And then, very simply, you’re going to render the plant incapable of making the pollen deposit … you’re going to neuter the flower, one by one.

How To: Keep your cut flowers longer

Even the smaller flowers have plenty of stems to extract.

How To: Keep your cut flowers longer

See the difference? No little wieners = no pollen to hasten the death of the flower.

How To: Keep your cut flowers longer

How To: Keep your cut flowers longer

How To: Keep your cut flowers longer

How To: Keep your cut flowers longer

So what did we learn here, kids? ABSTINENCE!

Also, how to keep your fresh cut flowers last up to 2 weeks longer.

5 thoughts on “How To: Keep your fresh cut flowers longer

  1. HILARIOUS, Jodi! So, you’re saying if we got rid of all the penises, we’d all live longer, healthier lives? Hmm, makes sense! : )

  2. Mego! HAHAHAHA thats hilarious!!!! that would be awful to be without them 🙂 WHich supermarket did you get those at? Family Fare? I wish for spring to come sooooOOooon!

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