I woke up this morning to my eyes burning. I had a sleepless night of every hour interruptions and for me, that generally means my blood sugar is way too high. Which it was.
Oh the lessons I like to KEEP learning.
But I took my meds, popped the baked oatmeal in the oven, took a shower and got dressed. I assembled Jessica’s lunch and looked at my calendar. Then took Jessica to school because the oatmeal wasn’t done yet and she didn’t want to apple we offered her instead. “No breakfast today, Mom.”
We shuffled into the van over boxes of donations, full of the memories we were hanging on to. A box of baby DVD’s that we haven’t watched in 2 years, random kitchen items we kept assigning placement in our drawers move after move because we didn’t know where else to put them. Plant stands, kids chairs etc. The long limbs of Jessica lept over boxes of stuff she willingly let go of and Oliver toppled over the larger box that could be a car when left to his imagination – they both sat down.
Like, no big deal. Boxes? In our car? That’s so last year, but whatever Mom. I don’t want breakfast and I’m wearing my long skirt today with my cowgirl boots and I woke up happy and did you remember to put doritos in my lunch?
Like, no big deal.
A beautiful blur, this girl.
When she colors inside my heart and walks outside my body.
When I get to soak toes with her while she drinks hot chocolate and does that snort giggle you do when you’re growing up, but still so little and did you see how fast that went?
It kind of blows
her my mind.
Because this is happening … and my heart is changing and it’s good.
Like looking out over a field and not really understanding what you’re seeing, but knowing it’s great.
So I got home and changed back into my pajama’s and started the fire. Oliver wanted to take his daily bath so I started the tub alongside my coffee. He ate all the chocolate chips off the top of the oatmeal then asked for yogurt. I emptied the dishwasher, refilled it and started it.
A pattern, like a cycle, comes around every morning and I’ll wake up to it with blurry eyes, burning eyes or eyes wide open. I’ll wake up to it, because I can’t wait to see what comes next.