wherein I get emotional about my daughter

This weekend our daughter, Jessica Ranae, will turn nine.

One Two Three Four Five Six Seven Eight … Nine.

Cranes U-Pick Apples

She’s starting to become a little lady and going gluten free is still a night and day difference in our house. We see the light in her eyes and we hear her laugh more. Her temperament has mellowed in a power-puff sort of way. She’s still a fighter, a strong little female. She’s strong and willing and able, she’s fierce … but she loves just as hard and doesn’t fight herself like she used to.

I have a hard time talking about her without crying lately, the difference is so surreal. It’s like knowing someone you love disappeared but didn’t fade away and you can feel it in your bones that they’re out there waiting for you to find them. It’s immediate, this rush, like I can see her under water trying to yell at me but I can’t hear her or get to her and I’m helpless and it’s maddening.

Going gluten free is the coming out of the water, and after years of pounding on glass, finally getting to hold her. Finally getting to hear her sing, to see her live outside of an invisible prison. I’m watching her bloom.

It’s just so beautiful.

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Jessica

Happy Birthday, Sweet. You have a wonderful light about you and are such a blessing to share with this world.

Me and my girl ::hearts::

Note to self: draw letters backwards on patterned paper. Ehum.

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