I’m struggling with whether or not I should post this. I don’t want my dad’s photo and entries to become archives just yet. But my marriage is still a living and breathing organism in this world, one in which I have to fan the flame …
One year ago today I said “I do” to the commitment of a lifetime in front of over 200 friends and family. I got married to the best thing that has happened to me in a long time, I married my best friend, confidant, personal comedian and the love of my life. I married Aaron Louis Schaap.
Babe,
I can’t believe we made it. A whole year, through great times, through hard times, through tragedies and deaths, through births and reunions, and through the first trimester of our very own pregnancy. I love you so so much. You have been more than I could have dreamed of in supporting me through everything. You’ve been my cheerleader, my coach and my hero.
I cannot wait to meet our baby in January and I know I’ll fall in love with you all over again in the coming months and years as I watch you be a father, a daddy and a parent to our kid(s) - you’re going to be great.
I’m so happy to be with you and beside you and behind your every decision. I’m going to need you in this next year, dealing with my feelings, grief, loss, and motherhood and adjusting to the new rhythm of our lives.
Aaron Schaap, you are the sweet sweet autumn breeze I crave so much. You, my dear, are stuck with me ;)
All my love,
Jodi Michelle Schaap
posted on August 30, 2004| 2:08 PM EST
At 10 pm earlier this evening, my dad lost his battle with lung cancer. I have no words.
In loving memory
Wayne Gordon Boeve
September 6, 1944 to August 29, 2004
I love you pappy.
posted on | 1:19 AM EST
That’s right, a whole post giving props to the writer I simply admire most. I would, someday, like to throw reckless abandonment to the wind and write as freely and openly as she does.
I hold alot in when I post because I know certain people are reading my site, and certain people could be affected by what I write, or even offended. But at the same time - although I want to respect certain issues, while they may be issues for some of my readers, they’re not an issue for me - I don’t want to have to hold back.
I’ve been a faithful reader of dooce.com for over 3 years now. It’s almost impossible for me to be online and NOT check her site. Dooce has given me alot of help in being comfortable with exactly who I am and what I believe in.
Right now the way Heather Armstrong is taking care of herself and her family is so admirable. She’s being honest with herself, her family and her fears, hell; she’s being honest with the entire world.
I myself have struggled with depression, a serious disease, of a different sort than dooce, since I was 14 years old. I’ve seen many a counselors and I’ll probably see many more. I look forward to revisiting some of the dooce archives after child birth to get some perspective on postpartum depression, I might even email her myself and ask for some resources.
The point is people, I support dooce.com wholeheartedly regardless of her swearing, and despite her obvious disgust with mormon religion. From where I stand, she’s taking better care of her family and daughter in exploring her options for better health and mental well being and that’s a gift too many of us forget to give.
So if for some reason, dooce/Heather and or Jon, you stumble on this post - I completely admire your honestly and what you’re doing. I hope you’re on the road to a better and happier life and I’m thinking of you.
posted on August 29, 2004| 6:31 PM EST
The ultrasound was wonderful. Everything is normal and as it should be. Four chambers of the heart, kidneys, stomach, swallowing reflex, fingers, toes, complete brain, aeorta artery, spine, hip bones,thigh bones, femurs, upper and lower arm bones, and the most beautiful face I’ve ever seen.
The baby has good size feet for the age so far, which was, I have to tell you alittle disappointing. I was hoping I would give it my tiny feet. But it doesn’t look that way right now. His/her feet messure at an inch long and the torso through the top of the head is only 6 inches. My baby has gigantuous feet! But they’re so cute.
The umbilical cord is pumping inside there, which I guess I knew because it’s carrying blood, it’s logical that it would be pumping … but it’s really pumping. Ba-bump, Ba-bump, BA-bump. Kinda like a heart. It was really cool to see.
so many more months to go before I can hold and meet my baby, I’m getting really anxious for it to be here, now. I just want to count the toes and the fingers, and kiss that little head and see those eyes looking at me and Aaron. I just can’t wait!
posted on August 27, 2004| 9:51 AM EST
Today we have our routine ultra sound. 20-22 weeks pregnant. I think I’m on the 20 to 21 week side. I really haven’t kept track of weeks, it’s not a useful system.
Anyway, normally people will find out the sex of their baby today depending on posistioning and whatnot … but we’re not normal so we’re going to pass up that surprise killer.
Maybe we’ll finally get around to scanning the first ultrasound photos along with today’s newer ones and post them up here for y’all to ogle. Thats a big maybe though, what with all the packing and the moving and the kicking my bladder … I don’t have much free time. And any free time I do find, you guessed it, I’m usually peeing so … you know, not so glamorous.
However, this morning I’ll be partaking in a little modeling if you will, some true glamour. My place of work is working along side some other organizations to support Women in Transition here in Holland. And we’re going to be modeling some clothes, everyone in a different stage of life, hence my pregnant state, to help raise money for Women in Transition.
I’ve never actually modeled, I know, I know - I’m surprised by this too. But Abercrombie and Fitch just couldn’t make their offer attractive to myself and my agent, so we passed on the whole mostly naked world recognition thing and I’ve assumed a more modest lifestyle. (Which means I wear clothes, and they cover my netherands.)
But I’m excited about this morning. I even did my hair, and if Aaron is reading this at any time during the day, he will gasp. I DID MY HAIR! but there’s more, I’m wearing (a very small amount) of MAKE-UP. COULD IT BE!?!?!? We’ll have to get some before and after pictures of this transformation for you to see, it is amazing. I look like a girl.
posted on August 26, 2004| 9:30 AM EST