It happened again. I saw a sign, and it opened up my eyes, I’m so happy now …
I could go on with the tune in my head, back from the day of Ace of Base.
Back on track though - I did see a sign, for 50% off all sleepwear at CARTERS. I love that store. I broke down and went in to “browse”. Ha ha ha ha.
Pregnant people can’t “browse” at baby stuff, we have to buy it. All. I did restrain myself, barely, and bought only one sleeper. But then I got some bibs that say “Give pee’s a chance” or “Bon appetite” or “Thank Heaven for little babies”. Oh and then there were those blankies with the bear head, you know the ones, with satin around the edges and on the underside … yea, I couldn’t really resist those either.
But thats all I got. Did I forget to mention that I systematically replaced all 5 of the other sleepers I was planning on buying - Aaron would be so proud. :)
This photo taken last week Saturday or Sunday at 28 weeks.
posted on October 28, 2004| 4:44 PM EST
As I’ve made mention to in the past on this site, depression is a very real struggle for me, one in which Aaron and I are very aware of and taking precautions for postpartum.
A member of my family has also had a very real struggle with depression in the past, and has since had a baby - and had severe postpartum depression. A struggle she is still trying to over come and correct. She’s checked herself into a hospital for the second time.
I’m writing about this because, one it’s close to my heart - watching what she’s going through is one of the hardest things I’ve done. She is the most honorable woman I know right now, taking care of herself so she can better take care of her family. Admitting something is wrong, whether or not you can see what it is, is the first and hardest thing to overcoming depression of any kind.
I obviously haven’t had postpartum depression - but am talking to my doctors about my history with clinical depression in order to get a handle on what to expect, if anything at all. I would rather go running at the problem head on, knowing there’s an end in sight than sit at home thinking I’ve done something wrong, wondering what it is I don’t have that I can’t be happy I have a new baby.
There are alot of things going on in my family as of late - dealing with my dad’s death has brought depression back on the forefront for me, something I have to deal with on a daily basis. Getting out of bed because I have to live for more than a memory. It’s a sad road, but one that, with time, can be paved with healing.
I can only imagine what kind of pain my sister is going through - dealing with depression, death, mourning, grieving and postpartum psychosis on top of it all. She said something tonight that I think everyone needs to know about depression - whether you, yourself, struggle with it or know someone who does - it’s not that our lives suck, our lives are good, for the most part couldn’t be better - it’s a chemical issue.
You can’t see the illness, and to some it’s nothing but a mind over matter issue - some of you might think I’m a quack to be so worried about some of this for my future, and my childs mental future - but if I had a heart condition or cancer, if I had an illness you could understand or see you wouldn’t be thinking twice about empathizing, praying or offering support. Depression is a disease, something you have to fight to conquer - and although it’s a personal disease, a struggle within for the most part - it’s there nonetheless. And should be treated by a doctor you trust and who knows your medical history.
It’s only realistic and fair to my family, Aaron and this new baby, to be completely honest about this struggle. If it were diabetes I was struggling with, we would be just as proactive.
I think it’s important to get the awareness out there about postpartum depression - too many people are afraid to talk about it with their close friends or even their family. Some women won’t even mention their symptoms or thoughts to their doctors. I can’t say it enough - if you were suffering from diabetes, heart problems, or other health issues you would get help. There’s no shame in getting help for your health. Regardless of the area you’re unhealthy.
Here are a few more links on postpartum depression:
Postpartum and caring for your baby.
A woman’s journey through postpartum depression.
posted on October 25, 2004| 10:30 PM EST
World, I’ve been pregnant for almost 7 months now and you’re JUST starting to catch on??? Seriously. If you want to annoy me any more in these emotional, hormonal ridden weeks ahead … please ask me one more time “Oh, and when are you expecting???” or “I didn’t know you were pregnant!!! When are you due??”
Because I’m not wearing a shirt that reads:
Pregnancy under construction, due in January.
I’m somehow pissing certain Holland veterans off. Well I’m sorry.
I’ve been wearing maternity clothes for almost 4 months now, my stomach has been steadily increasing in size and you’re just now deciding I’m pregnant? So, what, 2 months ago I was fat? Nice. Real nice.
Not only am I getting constant ogle eyes and questions, even advice on what to wear (because I don’t know how to dress myself) I’m also getting the occasional - “You’re only 6 1/2 months pregnant? You’re so BIG for 6 1/2 months, I bet you’re going to have a big baby.”
Uh huh, yea - right in the gut, below the belt and if I had them, in the knockers.
People - DO NOT TELL A PREGNANT WOMAN HOW BIG SHE IS. EVER.
Regardless of your relationship with her, regardless of whether or not she’s said so herself and regardless of what you think - just stop talking.
I, myself, in my head, all alone in a corner somewhere, on some level am OK with getting bigger - I’m having a baby … it’s only natural. But strangers who think it’s OK to tell me how big I am or how big they think my baby will be have obviously not had to think about pushing this alleged HUGE baby out of their netherlands. Nor have they been recently thinking about the fact that their thighs used to be able to wave at each other from across the crotch - now they’re Siamese twins, joined together for the journey.
Have I mentioned the size of my boobs lately? Because holy crap I have 2 more babies growing inside of each of them, I swear. And they LEAK! Not only do I have enough problems with sweating, seriously - I have problems with sweating. But now I have to be conscious of the rings that might appear on my shirt FROM MY LEAKING NIPPLES.
Does this experience get any more humiliating?
posted on October 24, 2004| 10:48 PM EST
Since I only work part time I have the ability to have dinner on the table waiting for Aaron, which would leave left overs for lunches and solve a ton of issues he seems to be having with eating at all during the day until 7 pm. It would also cut down on some spending and keep us healthier in many ways.
However, I can only make the same recipe once a month, maybe twice if I sneak it in, without Aaron getting huffy that we already had this dinner this month. He’s kinda picky. And I’m running out of tried and true recipes to make him - which means he comes home to an empty table and a hungry wife and we end up eating out or having cereal.
So I need some help - direct me to your favorite recipes, post them, email them or give me links to websites - I know about allrecipes.com, and it’s helpful but I need more.
Whats your favorite genre of food - Aaron likes spicy or anything with meat. He likes Mexican alot too … but I have heartburn, so thats a no no mostly.
I like Italian, Aaron will eat it, but he prefers more substance. And I love casseroles.
So there you have it, feed me, literally. Give me food for thought, recipes and ideas. We’re running out at the Schaap house.
posted on October 20, 2004| 4:34 PM EST
Here it is, hard proof that we’re conforming parents.
A few nights ago we again broke out the baby bach for some good ol’ fashion sleep therapy. It obviously worked, as you can see, I’m sleeping … as is child in utero, apparently.
However, before I fell asleep we were watching the baby move and kick to the upbeat parts of the songs on my belly. He/She would be calm and relaxed for the appropriate lyrics and then fashion a new form of “belly dancing” when the lyrics and music so provided. It was, to say the least, a little fascinating.
We’ve only tried one CD out of the 6 we bought because only one mentioned lullabies in the title. And well, why would we use bath time music for bedtime, people? But maybe we’ll be crazy and conforming and throw caution to the wind and try a new one tonight.
We just might be that crazy.
posted on October 16, 2004| 11:32 PM EST