I just made one of the boldest moves in my career.
I just cut the top half off of every pacifier. We have 3 of them. All of which are infant size. I refused to buy “up” as she got older. That, to me, was perpetuating the habit. And her first birthday is slowly creeping up on me and she still sucks on the darn pacifier.
I thought by 6 months we could be done with them, then 9 and now I’m wondering if ever I’m going to be able to successfully stop the crutch. And I have to admit it’s more my crutch than it is Jessica’s. I like to have one with me when we’re out and about because she might start screaming, and then what would I do?
Grin and bear it.
So hopefully she’ll be repulsed by the new sensation in her mouth and refuse to take them. That would be ideal. And since almost nothing we do is ideal in parenting - I’m going to hope I don’t crawl into a hole and scream for hours on end when she won’t stop crying and go to sleep already.
posted on November 30, 2005| 4:18 PM EST
Jessica is imitating us more and more every day. What we say, how we say it, what we do with out faces and hands. Although she refuses to sign “please” for me, or anything for that matter.
We consistently are signing when we feed her; “Eat”, “Drink”, “More”, “Please”, “Thank you” and “All Done”. We’ve been signing Eat, Drink and More since she was about 3 or 4 months old. And Milk - which she’s mastered, however I’m no longer breastfeeding so that one has gone by the wayside.
I explain to her, frequently, that I can’t understand crying and then I show her the sign for what it is she’s wailing about, pointing at or convulsing towards. But all she’ll do in response is smile, usually for ‘Yes, you got it! That IS what I want … now give it to me’ or she’ll shake her head “no” which means, ‘Sure, ok, so that’s what it means - but I’m still not signing for it, no. Just put it in my mouth already.’
I do feel that we’re getting close to the day when she’ll surprise the socks off Aaron and myself by actually signing when she’s hungry and wants to eat or when she’s thirsty and needs a drink or when the food is gone but she’s not done and wants more. Which, ok, I have to give her credit for trying in that area - it looks like clapping to her, which she does often while we feed her - as if to say ‘please don’t stop feeding me, keep it comin’. More, more, more’. And for that we applaud back at her.
But alas, she has spoken her first word. It wasn’t the token ‘daddy’ or ‘mommy’, it wasn’t the occasional ‘no’ or the famous pet’s name (we don’t have one) it was, and this is completely adorable, “UH-OH”.
“Uh-oh” when she drops something, “Uh-oh” when she falls, “Uh-oh” when her baby falls. “Uh-oh”. Complete with surprise in her eyes and the formation of “O” with her mouth. And it usually ends with her looking up or at either Aaron or myself like she needs to be reassured that it was an Uh-oh moment and, wow, she knew exactly what it was.
In this new phase of communication we’re also getting frustrated. Or, Jessica is getting frustrated. And rightfully so. I’m sure she has thoughts and wants and needs that go unnoticed through out the day and she has almost no way of letting me know what it is or that I missed it.
Like in the checkout at Wal Mart today. Yeah, I was THAT mom with the screaming baby. The one whose child is trying madly to be released from the cart, who wants everything on the conveyor belt to be in her mouth THIS INSTANT. I was the mom trying to quietly, yet very firmly, let my infant know how unacceptable this kind of behavior was - and we had an audience.
If it weren’t for Thanksgiving and my bringing dishes for dinners I would have picked her up and left.
When I was younger and went to the store with my mom, we just knew with every cell in our little bodies that we were NOT allowed to ask for anything or throw a fit in the store. I’ve asked my mom on more than one occasion - how the hell she put the fear of God in us to obey in public places. And my mom, being the woman of God herself that she is, and the homemaker that she is, and the mother that she is, just sweetly replies - You were not allowed to. (Period)
She elaborates and tells us that we all threw one fit, tantrum, convulsion, screamed bloody murder, cried for toys or candy, acted like the spoiled brats we were trying to get away with being. One.
And this is all when we were old enough to understand that most actions have consequences - but the punishment sure wasn’t worth going through more than once for a Butterfinger or Barbie. We got the look of death, which every mom has, and only when the look of death means actual possible death does it have any weight on the child’s actions. No empty threats people, look of death meant we’re in trouble. And we better act like freakin angels so she’ll forget we ever caused any pain, to anyone.
When we got in the car we either got the look of death some more, or the talk. And the talk for me was enough to send me into perfectionism at every outing. I don’t like it when some one is mad at me, and it’s worse when I know I deserve it. But we probably also got a spanken when we got home and that also meant business.
I full heartedly plan to execute this same pattern of discipline with my kids - why? BECAUSE IT FRIGGIN’ WORKS.
posted on November 22, 2005| 6:36 PM EST
This morning as Jessica was feeding herself banana, sitting in her “big girl chair” and not needing me for any of it - she started clapping. On her own.
We’ve been playing patty-cake for about 3 months now and every once in a while, after we get her started, would she ever clap on her own. But this morning, being the grown up that she is, she started clapping by herself.
It was awesome.
We then rejoiced in a breakout chorus of patty-cake and giggles. Not only that, but the jumbo snow flakes were falling outside our big picture window in the kitchen which is framed by fog, and the ground is a fluffy pattern of white. The romantic in me loves this stuff.
posted on November 17, 2005| 9:28 AM EST
When Jessica was born I actually never thought about her being anything other than a baby. I would have day dreams about sleep overs and kindergarten feild trips, of course. But it never registered to me that in less than the time it takes to clear your credit, my baby would be walking, talking, and feeding itself.
She gets closer every day to immitating us say “Mom”, “Dad”, “Hi”, “Bye”, “Down”, “More” and so on. I can actually decipher her grunts into needs and wants, I know what she means when she has 3 or 4 short grunts in a row and she’s looking up at us - that means she wants her sippy cup.
Why haven’t I realized that she’s going to get over the being small enough to hold? I told Aaron about a week ago that I might be having a nervous breakdown in the near future - I think we’re there.
Insert blubbering mommy.
posted on November 16, 2005| 9:32 AM EST