This past Wednesday I fell so hard I might not ever get up – I had my first ultrasound. This amazing human being already active and kicking and o-so-beautiful – it’s a baby, my baby. I’ve fallen in love, a love I never knew or understood before. A constant love, an “I will do anything for you” love, a surpassing love and most definitely the ultimate love.
As cliche as this sounds, I now know what my parents feel for me. What any parent has to feel – or has the capacity for.
I had no idea and I’m spellbound at the affects of this intoxicating emotion.
I was worried that I would be the minority mother who didn’t instantly love or know her child, that it would take weeks of getting used to. I’ve read in books and magazines that it can happen – that you don’t love your child right away.
But believe me you – I don’t know how this love could get bigger at this moment. I’m sure it will, and it’ll hurt and be joyous and scary – but I do know that I love this baby already. That meeting him/her will only make my heart beat faster and I can’t wait.
For technical updates: We are 12 weeks or 3 months pregnant today.
We’re not having twins.
Our due date, has changed 3 times, but as of now is January 16, 2005.
When I mentioned earlier on Aarons site that I no longer had cravings for chocolate – I had forgotten what the plain m&m tasted like.
I mean, have you had one lately – what with all the candy coating and the semi soft, sweet, meltable chocolate inside. I don’t think I’ve even given it a chance to melt in my hands, I can’t get them to my mouth fast enough.
It’s heaven when you bite down and the coating crackles just so, and your watery mouth licks the supple chocolate from your cheeks and the texture, OH THE TEXTURE. A massage for the mouth.
M.U.S.T – H.A.V.E – M.&.M.’.S
Apparently being pregnant makes my speech mechanism go on permanent vacation. I was at Subway yesterday getting lunch (have you had a 6 in turkey, lettuce, black olive and LOTS of mayo lately … you should) and when the clerk was asking me what I’d like on that sandwich I was like … green peppers, leafs, I mean BLACK OLIVES – not green peppers, I do not want green peppers. And Leafs – I mean lettuce, and some more of it.
I think the problem is, I was so ready to give her my order that I had already had the conversation in my head. In my mind, I had paid and was leaving with my lunch in toe. But then she asked the question and I was like … wait, what just happened?
I was hoping that was an isolated incident too, but then today at work – NOTHING worked with my mouth. I would be talking to someone and they would turn around and go about their business – was I actually talking? I have no idea. Do I have a background voice, possible. I was telling customers to have a good morning at 4:30, I meant weekend. I said hello instead of goodbye on numerous occasions. And then there’s those times that I just completely black out. No idea what’s going on whatsoever.
I read that forgetfulness was somewhat associated with a swelling belly and an outy belly button … but not being able to form the words you’re thinking … whats that?
Well, there it is. Still some debate as to how far along we are. We’ll know forsure by the middle of next week.
We had our first doctors appointment today. We got a bag-o-stuff full of magazines, books, pamphlets, samples of newborn diapers, cremes and even deoderant … because my armpits deserve a spa treament. Seriously, that’s what it said. There is alot of information to sort through and/or omit depending on importance. We have our work cut out for us.
We also tried to hear the heart beat again today, but it was hiding. The nurse could pick up the reading but not the sound. So Aaron was bummed but we’ll be able to hear it again at our next appointment. (Which is July 12)
Oddly enough I have no idea how to conclude this, so I’m just going to stop writing.
After being bugged by Jodi now for a couple weeks, I finally got up the Baby section of theParagon. I won’t go into detail on any of the backend code and how easy it was to move to a design like this with MT and CSS – that’s something I’ll post on my area of the site.
This area will more than likely be updated by the wife (Jodi) and be read by non-techniqual people like moms, dads, grandmas and grandpas.
So with that – Welcome to the new Baby section of theParagon.ORG