An elecrtical current

I have no shame whatsoever about eating a good 3 cups of pasta and a bunch of chocolate for lunch today. Why? Because we lost Jessica at the pool. LOST HER. AT. THE. POOL. The one with water. She ran away from me in the locker room and the ran out of the locker room and was out of our sight for almost 5 minutes. Aaron was there and I went to find him to see if she found him – she hadn’t.
We looked everywhere, asked everyone … no one had seen our little 2 year old in a red coat. She hadn’t gone back into the pool area – but then again one of the areas was just locked – and what if she went in there before they locked it and now we can’t find her? What if the last memory I’ll have of her is watching her little red coat turn a corner while I say “Jessica, come back here” to her back.
I started acting like an electrical current was working it’s way through my body – my heart rate was way past healthy, my hands were shaking and I was trying my darnedest not to start completely freaking out because I had to keep it together so we could find her.
And we did. Aaron found her in the mens bathroom – a naked guy was really confused as to what a 2 year old girl was doing in there all alone …
We alerted everyone who was helping us look and there was a joyous and general congratulation circulating the locker room.
And then we were alone with her. I’ve never felt so much love and so much raging anger for one thing in all my life. I made it to the garage and then I gave it to her. And then we cried and she sobbed and I was shaking – and I made her tell me she’ll never do that again. And actually? I believe her.

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