It happened. This morning. Another mom from preschool brought up my blog. Not a bad thing! I was a little scared and mostly just wanted to hide under a rock.
If there’s one thing I just don’t know how to handle yet where this blog is concerned it is most definitely how to have the conversation wherein I admit I have a blog at all. And most definitely to the other mom’s of preschool.
I fully understand that when I write all of my innermost thoughts and feelings, ideas and what-have-yous all over the internet that I am opening myself up to all kinds of interpretation and speculation. I get it, I accept it. I try to deal with it respectfully. However I know full well that I am not making that decision for my kids. So … when other parents who have children in the same class or school as mine do bring up my website I cringe a little because (and maybe this doesn’t matter at all) I’m worried about their foresight’s onto my kids BECAUSE of me. (I’m just insecure, I suppose, in a group of other women who do the same thing I do but we never actually discuss how hard it is, how tiring it is or how much we love it and hate it at the same time … mom’s, we’re kind of intimidating.)
Double standard? I have no idea. I hope not. And it’s getting more comfortable but it’s also a little narcistic to talk about myself talking about myself and I’m trying hard to be wise in that area. Or mature? Pretty much I just don’t want to be the one who always has to say something, just to fill the space. Or be some one because I feel pressure to perform.
Nevertheless, I still love writing here so I will get over myself.