jodimichelle : i tell stories.

Good Enough

January 27, 2012 - by jodimichelle

I’ve been jotting down ideas, thoughts, random and somehow genius AHA moments, that come to me while I’m driving or on the treadmill, possibly getting groceries, drinking coffee. They’re everywhere, all around me.
These thoughts generally turn into chapters, short stories or essays for my book. Which is where this title comes from, “Good enough“.

I’ve been thinking about this one for a long time. Years, actually. How much I struggle with expectations and yet how completely pacified I am by good enough. I am a self proclaimed NON-perfectionist, but I set expectations for perfect. (And then never meet them …)

In the middle of a project or huge decision, I am very decisive. I don’t need to debate or think it over. It is, or it isn’t and we move on. I’m good with those things but sometimes, when I’m not sure, I don’t know how to speak up or say it out loud.

I don’t know how to rise above the mediocre, the good enough. I don’t want a life that is just Good Enough. And yet … I cannot figure out how to get above it.

I can get pushed enough to finally scream these things, desperately, but by that time the wrong people are listening. Or the right people stopped listening. Or both.

It’s crippling, being just good enough. Just past the bar of potential, just enough. Not great or exceptional. And I can go there in my head and be all whiny and poetic about how I want AMAZING THINGS! I’ll dream all day long about the life I. Will. Live. one day but then I talk myself out of it, because all those things? Do they really matter?

But I wake up and today is good enough. It will always be enough but somehow I want more. Is there a date of expiration here? How long do I have to really figure this out before it’s too late?

Sometimes I move around just to make sure I’m here to begin with. I drive these roads and watch the water lap the beach and I make these markers in time just to know I’m here and not invisible or somehow fading. I try to make an imprint, sometimes a big one or a messy one – on roads or dirt paths so I can look back and see the proof.

I need more than Good Enough, I’m drowning in good enough.

But I will be damned if this defeats me. Round up, me – we’re doing this – suit up.

Filed in: Jodi, naked on paper | 2 Comments
Shit Siri Says

January 26, 2012 - by jodimichelle

I got an iPhone 4s this past weekend … a much needed update. But man, it’s sassy.

Now, now. Siri.

I think we’ll get along just fine. Now if only she could scramble these eggs.

Filed in: Jodi, This-n-that | 1 Comment
On getting older

January 22, 2012 - by jodimichelle

So skin care is actually a big deal, they weren’t lying.

Damn it.

I recently bought an ebook from Crunchy Betty about natural ways to clean oily skin, or acne prone skin … and although I experienced a slight hiatuses from the stupid stuff (Pregnancy hormones! Amazing!) my skin generally likes to argue with me. And it almost always wins.

Ughhhhhhh! Fine! [stomps feet angrily and marches in opposite direction]

So I need to stay on top of this. And probably buy night creams and wash my face before bed and use make up remover. I GET IT.

Only, and sadly, I do not get it. But the ebook helped, as I’m sure scouring her website for recipes and tips would also help – but I’m a fan of the conscise collection of everything-I-need-to-know, here-you-go. (Also I’m a big believer in supporting other bloggers.)

I have a routine, if we can consider a routine something I’m trying lately and count as productive if I remember 3 out of the seven days in a week to actually do it.

Tonight I added DIY Biore Strips to the routine and it works, really well. But she is lying when she says it won’t hurt when you take it off. I applied to my entire face (probably mistake #1) and waited the 10 minutes. But I would be lying if I said I didn’t yell MOTHERFUCKER through out the removal process. Quickly followed by the oooooooh! when I saw all the little creatures coming off my face.

I start with a cleanser/make up removal that is water, Baking Soda and natural unprocessed honey. Followed by a pH balancer of apple cider vinegar and water. Then the Biore strips, if needed. I finish with a honey wash. Simply honey.

I often start my day with a honey wash, too.

What do you guys do? Are there really miracle creams out there? What works and what doesn’t? Let’s discuss.

Filed in: cravings, food, etc, Experiments, Health and Wellness, Jodi | 5 Comments
Verdana emotions

January 21, 2012 - by jodimichelle

I keep going back to places I promised myself I’d never go again. Writing this book, I’ve been trying to write it for more than 10 years. Only, and also, I haven’t tried at all, not earnestly.

I was telling Aaron this week how scared I am of this book. What if I get finished and then I hate it? Or the people who read it hate it? And he said: then you’ll write another one. Just like that.

What a simple expectation. How easy it was for him to believe in me. I might not be the next great writer and I might not make it to the shelves of a box-book-store … but I might find an honest circle of people who feel the same way. Who can respect my story and the raw brokenness it brings – and maybe that’s enough.

Maybe waking up every morning and drowning in these black and white Verdana emotions will be enough when I’ve written my last sentence and cried my final tears through this year of writing.

Filed in: Aaron, Jodi, naked on paper | 3 Comments
Remember

January 20, 2012 - by jodimichelle

Someone asked me to submit my story of debt-freedom lately and to include a photo, this is the one I found – the last photo taken of us as a Family of 4 (we need some recent shots!) but I love this photo.

I remember the entire day around this photo – so much happiness, so much hope and joy. We had all our friends over for one last bonfire/potluck and made an event out of putting our SOLD sign on our Realtors signage of the house. The ink was dry.

The beginning and ending of something all at the same time – a moment that brought us here … and is taking us farther than we ever thought possible.

I love being able to recognize these moments as I look back through photos, to see the gift of our past as it’s directly affecting our future. We should all be so lucky. And I hope we all are.

Filed in: House, Photos | Leave a comment
How To: Make Cork Terrariums

January 20, 2012 - by jodimichelle

While researching and writing this article on how to add green space to your office I fell in love with the Cork Succulent garden. Great texture, original idea and seemingly easy.

You’ll need:

Corks, clippings of your favorite succulents (I have hens and chicks), a small amount of dirt and a knife.

Click here to continue reading over at MyTurnstone.com

Filed in: How To, Jodi | Leave a comment
Yes.

January 20, 2012 - by jodimichelle

I announced earlier this week that I’m writing a book.

At this point I’m just throwing words against the wall to see which ones stick and no I do not have a book contract, I’m not that cool.

I have 3 books in mind and I’m pretty sure I know which one I’m writing right now but I need some more time to really decide. (aka, log more hours pouring it out of me)

SO! That is the scoop and when I know more you will too.

Filed in: Jodi, This-n-that | Leave a comment
The list of things I don’t do

January 18, 2012 - by jodimichelle

I’ve been reading through Bittersweet.

A friend lent this book to me right after it was released, having read it herself and knowing we both shared an equal love for the author and it’s message. But that wasn’t long after we moved into the first apartment (roughly, I think) and I couldn’t pick up the book. It would stare at me and I’d glare at it and we were like two positives repelling each other at every attempt to fall in love. I gave it back with the explanation that I wasn’t ready to digest the book.

I had entered my own season of Bittersweet and the last thing I wanted was someone’s hope or happy ending. Ok, lets be honest – I had entered the season of Bitter – running from all things that could end in sweet.

A few weeks ago we took the whole family to the book store and I’ve been wanting to read something *else* lately. I love fiction but I needed substance, only I couldn’t figure out how much or what kind when I remembered I hadn’t read this book yet. I found it and started reading the prologue, tears streaming down my face … I knew it was time to read the book. To own it and mark up the pages, make notes in the margins and underline every sentence that sent shivers down my spine.

Shauna writes about the list of things she doesn’t do and I can’t stop thinking about it since reading that chapter a few days ago, so I’ve decided to give myself permission to occupy the same kind of list.

My List of Things I Don’t Do:

I don’t feel guilty about making pancakes at midnight while drinking red wine. There’s a movie with Diane Keaton (Somethings Gotta Give) where one of her scenes is making pancakes at midnight, drinking red wine. Call me crazy, I’m used to it, but there are days where I make pancakes at midnight while drinking red wine and I’m blissfully happy while doing so all because of that movie.

I don’t plan vacations. I love taking vacations and will be the first to jump on the bandwagon when one is mentioned or thrown out as possible. I love getting away, but I don’t love figuring out where we’ll eat every night or what we’ll be able to do. I don’t scour local visitors bureau for information … I just show up and order an umbrella drink or have my camera ready. I say yes on vacation.

I don’t make dinner past 5 o’clock. If it’s 5:03 and I have no plans for dinner, we’ll order out! If I purposefully wait until 5:15 to decide on dinner, we’ll order out! It’s a great plan.

I don’t run a daycare. I love other peoples kids and pets just as much as the next person, but when I’m away from my own kids – I don’t do yours. This has been hard because I want to be the person who always says yes, who volunteers in Sunday School and who can relish in being surrounded by twenty-three 5 year olds, but I am not. I wanted to be the favorite aunt who had sleepovers with my nieces every month. Who played dress up and had a bin of candy for baking cookies. I have an aunt like this, who I love dearly (and Jessica is named after). And bless her heart for being that person for me because I don’t think I’ll ever be that person for my own nieces.

I don’t apologize for my ideas. I laugh loud and often snort while doing so, sometimes I cackle. I make plans and throw parties and want everyone to have an amazing time. I dream really big and I’m almost always in my head. I’m scared of myself, most of the time, afraid to say things out loud because even though they sound good when I’m thinking them, what if someone doesn’t like it? Fuck it.

I’m not the person who sends amazing packages in the mail. But I want to be. I shop for people all the time, I have little piles all over the house and in boxes meant for this person, that baby, just because. I’m really bad at getting and sending the mail. Really bad. Once upon a time I was on top of it. Once upon a time I was on top of many things (scrapbooking, sending correspondence to out of state family, christmas cards, thank you cards etc) and then I gave birth to a second child. Period.

I don’t clip coupons. OHEMGEE. I said it out loud. I don’t clip coupons and I don’t feel bad about it! It’s such a time suck for me, if I can make a list and menu plan for the month – we’re ahead $250 bucks. Times 26 trips to the grocery store (give or take) in a year … that’s $6,500 in savings. BOOYA. Frugal that. I feel so much better getting that off my chest.

What’s on your list?

Filed in: Jodi, Thinking | 10 Comments
{video} Personal Outsourcing, that is the question.

January 16, 2012 - by jodimichelle

When I was pregnant (WHEN, not am) my lovely husband gifted me with a cleaning service for a few weeks before the baby came and 6 weeks after. Best. Gift. Ever. But now I’m thinking, hmmm, it might be worth it to have that outsourced and as I’m thinking this I’m curious: What do you outsource?

Filed in: Thinking, Videos | 6 Comments
A recap, birthdays and boxers.

January 13, 2012 - by jodimichelle

And not as in a dog. Animals are a bloggers way of having another baby … I mean, am I right?

No, I’m talking about Boxers vs Briefs and Oliver is officially Team Boxers.

We shelpt all over the place looking for them in his size. Gap (not outlet stores) sells them in 4T … which is his size but they look like they’d fit a teenager. And boxer-briefs are not ok. He needed the real deal, like dad.

Turns out Walmart sells them in 2T-3T size … so I bought every package they had on the shelf. After the Gap ordeal (bought them, but they were too big) there were so many tears about underwear. So. Many. Tears.

You know what? Screw it. I’ve decided to pick my battles as a parent and this one didn’t matter. He wants boxers; he’s potty trained, not wetting the bed, still naps for me every day and is a happy guy. Done.

I also bought a new SD card for new camera and turns out that it didn’t go well.

As you can see I did finally got the photos off the card and we had a great time yesterday celebrating Jessica’s seventh birthday.

She got: money!, a skate board, a wallet, candy, blank shoes and fabric markers (she’s a fashion designer in her spare time), a puzzle, a joke book, some clothes, a sled for school and some accessories. I also hid 7 birthday cards around the house, her school locker, in her classroom and book-bag and in her gifts.

She plans on buying a Nintendo DSlite with her money, she’s been saving for one for more than a year now and she woke up early this morning to go in the basement and practice her skateboarding.

The mermaid cake was fun to do – I freehanded the shapes: there’s a mermaid, crab and a fish. We made a huge batch of white frosting, used sprinkles for the crab and fish then make a peach and a green for the mermaid. Licorice for hair, colored M&M’s for the tail, eyes and “shells”.

We served Tacos at her request but I also made these fish tacos, with tilapia, that were to die for. Mexican pop for the kids and Margarita’s for the adults.

A great night, indeed. I cannot believe I have a seven year old.

Filed in: Jessica, Oliver, Photos | 1 Comment

You’ll need:

My List of Things I Don’t Do: